Free from the spirit of Offense!

The Hidden Wound of Offense

Colossians 3:12-14 (The Message Bible)

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.


It’s OK, it’s alright, and I’m fine. That was my mantra; those were very common statements you would hear me say when someone had said or done something that angered me, offended me or hurt me. It was my way, of being forgiving and “letting it go.” I was a non-confrontational, non-conflict person; which in some ways does have its virtues, but in other ways this non-confronting behavior really set me up to become one who walked in a spirit of offense and unforgiveness. You see, it wasn’t always Alright! I discovered I was not being honest with God, with myself, or with the other person, and lacking the genuineness of heart in making those statements, I began to tuck certain incidents and situations away. The result? I began to harbor a spirit of offense and unforgiveness.

Here are our definitions for this week.

Offend
1. to irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in.
2. to affect (the sense, taste, etc.) disagreeably.
3. to hurt or cause pain to.

Bitterness
1. having or denoting an unpalatable harsh taste, as the peel of an orange or coffee dregs.
2. showing or caused by strong unrelenting hostility or resentment.
3. difficult or unpleasant to accept or admit.
4. cutting; sarcastic.

Unforgiving
1. not disposed to forgive or show mercy; unrelenting.
2. not allowing for mistakes, carelessness, or weakness.

There are times when we really need to talk things out. In denying hurtful situations in my life, I in essence denied myself of the opportunity to have the conversations that I needed to have to really "clear the air."  Interestingly enough, while I may not have had the conversation with the person, I still had the conversation in my mind. That’s right. I replayed the events over and over in my mind. What I could have said, what I would have said, what I wished I had said. This kept the incident as fresh as something happening the same day, even when it had been several months or perhaps a year ago.

How did this all begin to surface for me? Let me give you an illustration. If I sweep an entire room, and instead of picking up the trash, I sweep it into a pile under the carpet, for the first few weeks you may never notice. However, that pile will begin to grow, and continue to grow, and shortly you will begin to notice a lump under the carpet. Soon, there will be no way to hide it. This is how offense and unforgiveness can be. Unaddressed, the weight of this grows and grows, and soon the manifestation of the consequences of that spirit on our lives is undeniable. Along with Worry, Anxiety, and Restlessness, here are some other major consequences you will experience in this situation.

1. Prevents God From Forgiving Us. Matthew 18:35

2. Prevents us from Coming into God’s Presence. Matthew 5:24

3. There is also medical evidence of sickness and disease, as a result of unforgiveness. (http://cslr.law.emory.edu/fileadmin/media/book_covers/Witvliet.Forgiveness__Health_and_Well_Being.pdf)

I want to encourage you this week to meditate on the definitions given above, and ask the Lord to reveal people and situations in your life that you need to forgive and let go. God may direct you to speak to that person, or maybe not. The most important thing is that you deal with it before Him in your heart.

Here are some very practical steps I have taken to address this in my life.

1. On a sheet of paper, make a list of the persons God reveals during your quiet time, and what/why you need to forgive and release them. Done this before? Well I believe if God led you to this word, it’s time for you to do this again. Be encouraged, Forgiveness is an ongoing act!

2. You might want to write a letter to each of them, sharing your heart and releasing them.

3. Then make the decision that once and for all, you are letting it go. It is between you and God what you do with the letter.

4. Decide that you are going to be honest with yourself and others. Learn to speak the truth in Love!

People of God we must know that unforgiveness is one of the tools the enemy uses to destroy relationships, especially in families. If you do not deal with these situations, this will turn into Bitterness. Here is what the Bible says about Bitterness.

Hebrews 12:15
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;

Bitterness causes trouble, and in the midst of bitterness, many are defiled (made dishonest or corrupted).  This week, make the decision to come out of the spirit of Offense.  Expose this Hidden Wound, and allow God to wash your Heart, cleanse you, and release you from this bondage.

I love you all with the love of Christ. Be Blessed!

Copyright 2012 - Victoria L. Burse, Queens of the Kingdom  www.queensofthekingdom.org

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